What? You want to know about my kid — your student? Pffft. You don’t have to ask twice.
I’ve been waiting for this homework assignment. And — since I already bared all about the other kid in a previous post — parenting rule #16 dictates I must now provide equal billing here.
When asked to “Tell About My Scholar” in a million words or less, here’s what I said to enlighten my son’s seventh grade math teacher:
Now that we’re a couple of weeks into the school year, it is likely Trevor has already charmed you. I am here to explain why.
Sure, there are the usual reasons: Affable? Compassionate? Kind? Check, check, check. But his natural tendency to be an all-around nice kid comes from a darker place. He’s actually making up for lost time. The truth is, he spent the first two years of his life crying miserably and awoke from every slumber angry and screaming and ready to rumble. No one ever knew why. It was almost as if he knew from the start he’d have an uphill battle for attention as the youngest of four children and wanted to make sure we all knew he was around. He’s been working that playbook ever since.
Even today when he fights with his siblings, he is the loudest. It’s actually kind of amusing. For certain you will witness none of this ridiculous behavior in your classroom, because he is the middle school Clark Kent of secret personas.
So yes, he’s a super awesome kid but he carries around this deep dark secret. It’s true; we have proof (ask him to tell you about “the picture” that one of his teachers kept on her desk for a while last year). I just felt you should know. If you ever have a student in need of a friend, Trevor’s your man. If there’s a task you need help with, he’ll be the first to offer. And unlike his brothers that came before him, he actually tells us about his school day. We’ll hear all the good, the bad, and the ugly algebraic equations that are kicking his tail (again, this constant chatter at home is simply a constant reminder that he is, well, around. Nothing more).
According to his stats, he is presently the only breathing middle schooler without a smartphone. If he doesn’t do well in your class , he knows this sad, sad statistic will not change for him. I imagine because of this he’ll work extremely hard in your class. (Fun fact: he did get a perfect score on his third grade Math MCAS … this keeps him on the Scholastic Leaderboard of Competition we keep on our kids but hello, third grade? — this star is losing its luster and he knows it).
I hope you enjoy Trevor as much as we do (you know, on his good days). He’s got a great sense of humor and a winning disposition. He’s one of our favorites but we’ll never, ever tell.
Tina Drakakis blogs at Eyerollingmom and was just featured in the Boston production of “Listen to Your Mother: Giving Motherhood a Microphone.” Her work has been featured in NPR’s “This I Believe” radio series yet she places “Most Popular 1984” on top of her list of achievements. (Next would be the home improvement reality TV show of 2003 but her kids won’t let her talk about that anymore). A witty mother of four, she takes on cyberspace as @Eyerollingmom on Twitter and Eyerollingmom on Facebook. –